All Before 8am!

This morning I wake up on my own and think… hm, I never wake up on my own – someone or something always wakes me up.  I wonder what time it is?  It is 6:45 already!  My alarm got turned off!  I need to get up ASAP!  See, I am not a morning person and I need to get up before the kids so that I get the morning crankies all worked out before children start waking up.

I am at the table eating my bowl of cereal and I can hear Max starting to grunt and wiggle.  Oh boy.  Here it goes.  I finally go get him before he really starts getting restless and wakes up Mallory.  He doesn’t want to snuggle with me and go back to sleep – he wants to eat.  So I leave my bowl of cereal at the table and go feed Max.

While I am feeding Max, Mallory wakes up.  She is running around the living room and what not.  Finally I hear her in the kitchen saying something about needing a napkin.  I can’t see her – I’m still nursing Max in the living room.  I don’t really pay much attention to her mumbling about a napkin.

Next thing I know she is coming across the carpet with my bowl of cereal!!!  I flip!  I started demanding her to take it back to the kitchen because the whole time she is spilling milk all over the carpet and I’m stuck nursing Max.

See… My Mallory is not afraid of trouble.  She just acts like it is no big deal.  She doesn’t get scared easily… unless there is a bug.  LOL.  So she casually walks back to the table with this bowl of cereal spilling the whole way going… oh I made a mess.  I need a napkin.  Oh I made a mess.

Once she gets that bowl back on the table she comes running to me and she is now covered in milk.  I tell her to go get the towel off the stove and dry her feet off and then clean up her mess.  She does.  Then I hear banging around.  Mallory what are you doing?  “I can’t get it?”  What can’t you get?  “I can’t get my mess.”  I look and this is the first time I actually see the damage!  Milk every where!  She was trying to squeeze between the chair and the wall and the heat vent was in her way.  I told her just leave it, I would assist her when I was done with Max.

I finish feeding Max lay him on the floor to play and go clean up Mallory’s mess.  The whole time I am cleaning up her mess I’m mumbling nonsense… I can’t believe you did this.  I can’t believe you did this.  What were you thinking?  Oh Mally.  What are we going to do with you girl. 

Mallory is standing there watching me and she says, “Its okay Mom.”  I could not believe she just said that.  Where did she hear that before?  Really, this girl is trouble!  Of course I giggle at her.

Then I get out the mop and start cleaning and she gets our her swiffer and starts cleaning too. 

Anyway I get her all set up with some breakfast and go back to move Max to his jumper and find that he has spit up and the entire back of his head is now soaked in spit up.  Well, I guess you just declared this morning as bath day, huh Buddy Max!  Oh joy!

We go downstairs to get set up for a bath and Mallory is just into everything so I send her out into the playroom and turn on PBS Kids and tell her to stay here and play while I give Max a bath.  She does. 

I get Max in his bathtub and he starts pooping up a storm right in my tub of clean water!  I mean tons of poop.  I don’t think the kid has ever pooped so much in his entire little life.  And before I got him in the tub he had a poopy diaper – so he had already pooped!

I don’t know what it is about my kids and bodily functions! 

I get him out.   Get him fresh new clean water.  Put him back in.  He now proceeds to pee in my fresh new clean water!!  Buddy Max!  Seriously! 

I get him all clean and smelling fresh again.  Mallory comes back in the bathroom as I am drying Max off and getting him dressed.  She starts to gently play in the bath water and then starts to get out of control and starts throwing water around so I ask her to go dry her hands and go back out in the playroom.  She goes and gets a towel dries her hands and then tosses the towels in the toilet.  I mean she threw those towels in the toilet like it was just where they go.  No question.  No hesitation.  Just tossed them in and didn’t even look back.  Or even look in the toilet to see them in there! 

I was flabbergasted!  I said, Mallory… did you just throw the towel in the toilet?  And her response… yeah!  And it was so…like… where else do we put towels mom?  I could of screamed! 

I shooed her little booty out of the bathroom and fished the towel out of the toilet to discover that she actually had two towels in there!!!

This was all before 8am today!

My caramel vanilla coffee was so good this morning!