Grandpa Memories

My Grandpa (My Dad’s Dad) past away this week.  I am horrible at dealing with death… horrible!  So I decided that I was going to be different this time!  I can do this! 

My Mom sent me a text on Wednesday afternoon that said if I wanted to see Grandpa I needed to do it today.  I was taking Mallory to awanas and the hospital is the next building over from the church.  I had no excuse, but I had a million excuses as to why I couldn’t come.  I put my head in my hands and prayed!  I prayed for strength.  I prayed for what I was suppose to do.  It is not about me!  It is not about me!  Is what I got back!  So I took a deep breath and sent my Mom a text and said… I’ll be there at 6:20!

I had anxiety for the rest of the day!  I was sick to my stomach!  I couldn’t eat!  I couldn’t drink!  I did not want to go!  I do not like to see people suffering like this.

I am an extremely emotional person!  Like extremely!  I hate it!  I wish I could control them, but I can’t.  I hate it when others see me get this emotional! 

I got to the hospital.  There was lots of family there – which eased my anxiety a bit.  I saw Grandpa.  I didn’t like it.  I held his hand.  Kissed his forehead.  I cried!  I cried!

I would tear up on the drive back home every once in awhile.  I would tear up going to bed that night.  The next morning my kids got up insanely early again and I just didn’t know what to do with myself.  I sat in the chair with them and we watched shows for an insanely amount of time.  I couldn’t function.

Then I got that call.  Grandpa had passed.  Then I really couldn’t function!!  My chore list went out the window!  My clean house went out the window!  I could hardly get out of the chair!  I finally decided.  That’s it!  I’m going shopping!  I’m going to get Christmas decorations and I’m making my house shine from the outside!  I don’t have any outdoor Christmas decorations and Mallory is noticing every single house with decorations and she says, we need some too mom!  We do!  And today is the day! 

I decided what a more perfect day to buy decorations.  Every time from here on out I will think of Grandpa when I put these decorations up!!

So I hung up the decorations.  Now what?  I sat back in my chair with Mallory and we watched another huge amount of TV.  I just couldn’t function!  I emotionally dumped on a friend and she said… go eat!  She told me to go eat a PB&J sandwich.  Start small.  It actually sounded good.  So I did.  I was out of jelly – but I ate peanut butter toast.  And it was good!  I took my vitamins.  And I was feeling better and was able to function when Max woke up from his nap.  I even ate a bit for supper. 

Today I am better.  I still think of Grandpa every few moments.  I still think of all his sons and what they are going threw.  I think of Grandma and what she is going threw.

I am still not getting any of my chores done today – because all I am doing is thinking of this!  So I need to get it all out.  I need write down my memories of Grandpa so I can cope and get back to functioning again!

Grandpa & Grandma met at a wedding.  They were both standing up in a wedding together, but they weren’t dating.  I believe Grandpa was engaged to someone else at the time.  Grandma says… he was a pig farmer from Iowa and I was a hussy from Chicago.  The rest is history.  : )

Grandpa & Grandma lived on a farm a few miles from us when we were super little.  I don’t really have any Grandpa memories from the farm.

Then they sold the farm and “retired” I guess.  Grandpa started a lawn mowing business.  He was pretty proud of his lawn mowing abilities.  : )  He got gigs all the way over in Wausau mowing residential lawns for the richy-rich!  He would take us over to Wausau and show us all these huge houses he mowed lawns for. 

I remember being at their house when Grandpa would come home for a lawn mowing adventure and he would come in full of grass and sit down at the counter with his little book and write in it.

He also had a mean collection of strange QVC items.  I think they were mostly garden items.  He had this one item though… it was to help your aching sore stiff joints.  It would shock you!  He thought it was a toy!  He would chase us around the house with that thing trying to shock us!  I was so afraid of that thing!  I can still picture him sitting in his recliner shocking himself with that thing! 

Speaking of recliners.  Grandpa and Grandma each had their own recliners.  My sister and I spent many many many nights at their house.  We loved it!  We couldn’t get enough of it!  We would sleep on the living room floor though because we thought the upstairs was haunted!  LOL!  I’m pretty sure I still feel like that upstairs was haunted.  It gave me an eerie feeling during the day.  I was most definitely not going up there at night!

Anyway, my sister and I would make a nest on the floor and Grandpa & Grandma are each in their recliners and they have to watch their shows at night.  Their soap operas that they recorded every. single. day.  However, if you stayed with them during the day – they watched them during the day too – but would fall asleep so they would have to watch them again at night – but they would fall asleep AGAIN!  I’m not sure how they ever knew what was going on in their shows.  Young and the Restless.  I don’t remember the other one.  I also remember watching Murder She Wrote and I think there was some Texas Walker Ranger in there too. 

Oh and when ever I see Wheel of Fortune… that is totally them.  More so Grandma then Grandpa.  She can’t resist her puzzles. 

And the TV would be so blasted loud!!!  I honestly have no idea how they fell asleep.  There was no way Shannon and I could sleep!

And hot!  The house would be so hot!  They had wood heat and I swear Grandpa was stoking that fire every 30 minutes!  I remember we would all comment on hot it was in there when we would visit.

His drink of choice that I remember was a high ball.  I can remember him yelling (from his recliner) to the kitchen “Connie make me a high ball, would ya”.  For the longest time I thought he was saying, eye ball.  I still have no idea what a high ball is.

Oh lemon drops!  I’m pretty sure Grandpa had a stash of lemon drops hard candy with him. 

Grandpa was also into his hot tub that he bought.  He thought it was the greatest thing and wanted everyone to join him. 

Grandpa was into his lawn art too!  He would cut things out of wood and the request my Mom to paint them for him.  I think I painted a few of his items too when my talent developed.

Grandpa had this really old snowmobile that Jesse loved.

Grandpa had a three wheeler – actually it was my Dad’s three wheeler from when he was a kid – but it was always at Grandpa’s house.  I drove that thing for hours when we were there.  I even tipped it over when I was giving my little brother a ride… and he was little at the time.  I tipped it over right on top of us and I don’t think anyone saw us because I remember kicking it off of us and getting out.  No one was hurt.  Just shaken up.  Now we (Jesse and I) have that three wheeler and we are getting it restored!!  I think it will be extra special now when we get it back all sparkly!  : ) 

Grandpa also had this little red wagon and he would take us for rides after rides in it!  In the summer it has wheels (to pull behind the three wheeler) in the winter it had skis (to pull behind that really old snowmobile).  Loved it!

I don’t think I remember this – I just remember from everyone else talking about it – but I think Grandpa use to have horses and he would take us for sleigh rides.

Grandpa use to have a love affair with the bar, Gordy’s, a few miles from our house.  I can remember driving by and seeing his truck there and saying “Grandpa is at Gordy’s AGAIN!”

I remember the year Grandpa wanted the guys to put up a tarp garage for his truck for the winter.  They did not want to do it.  But Grandpa wanted it – and if Grandpa wanted it – you better do it!

I’m sure I have a ton more memories floating around – but I’ve sat here long enough with my cold cup of coffee (which would of never flew for Grandpa – Grandma would always reheat it in the microwave for him and he would need a buttered saltine cracker or a cookie to dip in it) and soggy kleenex that it is time to get up and move forward!

Thanks for listening to my memories and helping me cope better this time around!  *teary eyed smile*

Not Always Sunshine & Roses

I write a lot about all the good things that go on here.  I try not to be negative and write about the bad stuff.  However, I want you to know that it is not always good here.  Today was one of those days.

Today started a bit before 6am.  Max is fussing… again!  He has been fussing for the past three days and not sleeping solid.  I lost count of how many times I got up with him last night.  When he started fussing before 6am I just wanted to lay on my belly, scream into my pillow, and kick.  I wasn’t ready to start my day like this.

I forced myself up and there he was standing in his crib with his blanket and nuk crying and wanting me.  I’m get him and walk out of the room and close the door – Mallory starts crying!  Max is still crying in my arms!  I now have two kids crying before 6am!

I tell Mallory that it is not time to get up and she needs to go back to bed and she plays the “but I’ll miss you” card.  So I take her back to bed and tuck her in, play her music, sit on the side of her bed and hold Max.  We sit there that like for awhile until my alarm goes off on my cell phone.  Now they are wide awake.

I take them out to the living room and they instantly want to watch a show.  I turn on the TV and both of them grab their eyes and start grunting because the TV is so bright in our dark morning house.  I sit with them while they watch a show and work on my attitude and try to get myself in a positive mood for the day.

I get up to start the day and get breakfast ready for them.  I’m making juice when Max comes in and is saying “owie, owie” and pointing to his eye.  I look and his eye is all pink and pussy.  You have pink eye!!!  I wipe his eye with a warm wash cloth and he toddles away back to finish his show he was watching.

Jesse decides he still isn’t feeling well (he has been sick since Sunday night) and he was going to stay home from work. 

I’ve got a good spirit going and I take the kids downstairs and Mallory wants to do some school work so we do her Awanas homework and Max plays.  And he plays so well!  He has also been sick for the past 3 to 4 days so it was such a relief to have him actually play and play by himself.

A nurse from Max’s doctor’s office called and decided that since he has been sick that his pink eye is probably viral and it would just need to work it’s course.  I should watch him and if he isn’t better by the end of the week I could bring him in.

I don’t remember what happened but we all ended back up stairs for a while.  Then I decided to take them back downstairs so Jesse could rest again and we were going to bring in the bikes for them to ride downstairs.  Max was clinging to me and wanted me to carry him.  Mally went down first and then I went down carrying Max.  Next thing I know I am slipping and falling down the stairs.  Trying to catch myself and trying to hold onto Max.  I can’t get my footing.  And I fall all the way to the bottom (4 or 5 steps).  My right leg stays up at the top of the steps and the rest of my body goes down and I get to the bottom and Max shoots out of my arms and lands on the concrete floor on his head.  My right leg finally catches up and I am now on the concrete floor too.  We are both crying.  Mally sees me crying and she is now crying.  I grab Max and hold him and try to figure out his damages while my leg is hurting so bad. 

Max is fine.  A few moments later and he remembers we came to ride bikes and he saying “bike” between sobs.

I go to stand up and um… my big toe!!!  My big toe hurts and not just any hurt!  It feels as if the sucker is sprained, if not broken!

I get the bikes out and the kids ride around for a bit and I just sit and think… OMG!  My toe!  It really hurts!  I can’t stop thinking about how bad it hurts!  I bet I seriously sprained it!  What are they going to do for it?  I swear a friend told me she broke a toe and there is nothing they can do for it.  So I didn’t even think of going to the Dr. for them to tell me there was nothing they could do.

I make lunch – which only Mally ate and Max snuggled Jesse and fell asleep so I carried him off to bed.  I think Jesse and Max have the same little virus/bug so I wasn’t afraid of Max getting sick. 

Reading stories to get Mally ready for nap and Max wakes up!  He only slept about 30 minutes!  No way! 

Get Mally down for a nap and I have Max.  He is refusing to sleep!  He wants to snuggle.  He doesn’t want to go to bed.  He won’t fall asleep in my arms, but he will in Jesse’s.  Jesse went to bed himself so it is just Max and I and my broken toe! 

I decide to give Max a bath and maybe that will calm him down and relax him and he will sleep.  After his bath – Mallory is awake from her nap! 

I. can’t. win.

I am so exhausted and I didn’t even do anything today!  I tried so hard to stay positive and then I fell down those stairs and broke my toe and walking is almost on the verge of impossible… I couldn’t be positive anymore!  I was done.  And I fell down those stairs at 10am!  LOL!  At 3pm I finally broke down and took some pain reliever because I was just hoping and hoping it was going to get better that it wasn’t a sprain or brake.  Didn’t happen.  Got worse as the day went on.

Now the kids are in bed for the night.  Fingers crossed!  And I’m sitting here with it elevated and it still hurts – but it feels better not being on it.  I will be praying that Max sleeps threw the night so I do not have to get up 16 times tonight to work with him.  Also another hidden perk – I work tomorrow.  So I can sit at my desk with my foot elevated for 5 hours!  Hopefully that helps it before I am home the rest of the week.  Positive Thinking.  Positing Thinking.  And Good Night.

A Quiet Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving break started on Wednesday afternoon.  My sister-in-law came over in the late afternoon and spent the night with us.  We put the kids to bed and had some girl time… which involved a sour cream & honey facial at 11:30pm and a bottle of wine!  : )  Wine makes me do crazy things and makes me force my sister-in-law to do crazy things like going first with this facial!  : )  (Our guys were out playing poker with their high school buddies.)

Thanksgiving day turned out to be beautiful.  We had beautiful weather.  The guys took the kids out to ride the motorcycle and get some fresh air for a bit. 

Steph and I planned and plotted our Black Friday and worked on our Thanksgiving feast.  The guys one request was – no turkey.  So I made short ribs in a wine & cream sauce.  My sister-in-law made loaded mashed potatoes and asparagus with a balsamic glaze topped with shredded parmesan.  The meal was nothing short of YUM!  It was a pretty fantastic “fancy” meal for our Thanksgiving. 

Then we re-did our Black Friday schedule because I got scared.  We originally thought we would go out at 9:30pm Thursday night and just stay out all night.  Then I got scared of no sleep and coming home to two demanding kids.  So we left at 3:30am!  : ) 

It was actually a great plan and we didn’t have any massive crowds or standing in line for hours!  Except when we got to Kohls then we had to wait 45 minutes.  Otherwise we walked up to the register at every store.  I don’t have any great Black Friday stories this year… oh we went to this fabric store and spent so much time in it debating over fabric.  Two non-sewing, non-fabric girls in this store!  Before we went Steph drank some caffeine and I drank my energy drink.  We got the random giggles and then decided to call the hair salon and book Steph a haircut for Saturday morning.  Go to get our fabric cut and drool over an adorable quilted toddler bedspread and the lady cutting our fabric is talking to us like we sew and says “That is just a 9-square!  That is really easy and shouldn’t take you much time at all!”  Um… 9-square?  Then she is telling us to just cut pictures out of coloring books for the owl and sew it on.  Way over our heads!  However, I need to learn to sew in my next life because some of the stuff we saw in that store was so adorable!

And that was our Thanksgiving weekend.  We decided when they left that we will do this again!  I loved cooking here – wished my kitchen was bigger and more functional – but it totally worked and was so good and fun and relaxing!

Now we are trying to catch up on all the sleep we lost!  : )

Café O’Mally!

Staying home with the kids these past few days, I am having to learn how to just let things be.  Stop worrying about my chore list and just stop to play with the kids.  It is very hard for me.  I’m selfish in a way that I want all my chores done before nap so that I can have nap time to do Lynn things.

Lets just say – nap time is for Lynn things – but a new kind of Lynn things.  Cleaning, Prepping supper, working.  : )

This day (before I realized that nap time is really for getting work done) I was trying to get the cleaning done downstairs and the kids were playing restaurant.  It was so sweet.  I grabbed the camera!

Mallory wearing her high heels.  She is starting to get into dress up.  She now is looking for a chefs hat and apron.

Cooking in her messy hair and high heels.  Some day she will be the perfect home maker!

They even have a center piece!

This was the lunch they prepared for me to eat.  Yum!

Then she comes to clean away the dishes…

Straight to the floor!  She does not get this technique from me!

Then comes little man to wipe it down with his wipe! 

Breaking for snuggles and a picture.  I’m rocking the messy home maker hair – but I forgot my high heels.  ; )

She may have thrown the food on the floor – however she is great at clean up after each guest!  She scrubs under the table as well!

Then I got the race track out for Max thinking I could go work on one of my projects.

I wanted to put together a bench for the laundry room that I bought this summer for a crazy steal of a deal.  I sneak away because they are playing SO good.  I’m in the laundry room tearing about my box and ready to assemble and they find me and want to help!  Ahh!  I distract them with taking all the garbage away.  But one mess lead to another – they found a small piece of Styrofoam that turned into a gigantic MESS!!  They crushed and broke it and crushed it into teeny tiny bits!  Then took those teeny tiny bits and sprinkled them into sneaky little hiding places!!  I had that blasted stryofoam from one end of my basement to the other!!

So – I got to do my Lynn project and I must say I assembled that bench like a champ all by myself!  And you can sit on it!  However… I was not able to get one screw in… I don’t think it was an important one… I don’t think… It is low to the ground… if it crashed you wouldn’t get hurt… too bad…

Anyway, I got my project done – but I gained a massive clean-up!!

At home

I’ve been at home with the kids the past few weeks on a little break and wow!  They love having me here with them.  They can’t get enough of it.  The first week they were the best little kids ever!  Then this week – we had daylight savings!  OH!  It has never effected us before – but this time it is as if the kids lost 6 hours of sleep.  When really we’re suppose to gain an hour.  Ha!

One morning Jesse got up at 5:30am to go to work and came back and said… Mallory is awake already!  WHAT?!  He said he went to go close their door and she said, “Hi Momma… oh wait, Hi Daddy.”  He told her to go back to sleep.  I’ve been trying to get up at 5:45… however that morning there was no way I was getting up because if Mallory was already awake she would see me get up and then come out.  So I hid in my room and fell back asleep… for 5 minutes before I hear them BOTH in there giggling and talking!  They were at least happy, right?!  It is only 5:45am!!  Not gonna happen!  So I ignore them and I’m still hiding in my room.

They start yelling “mom”.  Max will yell “Mom” and then Mally will yell “Mom”.  It became a game for them.  I’m not moving!  I’m not saying a word.  They are going back to sleep.  : )  Literally a minute goes by of them yelling and finally Mallory yells “Momma?  Where are you?”  I giggled quietly and then yelled “SLEEPING”.  They stopped yelling for me and started talking to each other.  They yelled something else to me and I don’t remember what, but I remember my response was “It is not morning yet!”  Then it became silent in there for a long time… well it felt like a long time.  I was almost ready to sneak out and I see a light come on.  Max has turned their light on.  Now there is no going back!  They are up.  Mallory comes toddling out and finds me and says, “There is something on my ceiling” and she is naked in her pull-up only!  What happened to you pajamas?  “I got sweaty so I took them off.  There is something on my ceiling!  Come look!”  Ahhhh!  So up we got!  Sure enough a spider was on their ceiling.  But I couldn’t reach it – nor was I going to attempt to reach it.  : ) 

However, that morning they were in an excellent mood!  They were happily playing and I got out the camera.

Mallory working on her computer and doing her orders.  Think she has been out in the shop working with us before?  : )

I actually had to work this day – so we had a babysitter come and Mallory did not want to take a nap.  So I said that would be fine, just rest with her and watch a movie and maybe she will sleep.  hahahaha!  And then to top it off Max didn’t take much of a nap either!  So when I got home from work I had two very tired children!!

After much convincing I finally got them to play while I made a quick supper.  Mallory built a “microphone stander”. 

She dumped out all the toy bins to build this! 

We watched the CMA Awards together and she saw all them have mic stands.  That she had to have one.  Then when the singer would play the guitar she would get her guitar.

While I was trying to cook supper Max kept bring books for me to read and I would send him back to the living room with it and have Mallory read it to him.  She was more then willing to do that.  At one point I peek out at them and had to grab the camera!

Moments like these make up for all the fighting and screaming they do at each other!  : )

Button Rewards!!

I am very much not a morning person!  Mallory either!  It seemed that every morning it was a battle to get her dressed.  It was a battle to get her hair combed.  It was a battle to brush her teeth.  It wasn’t fun.  I dreaded it!  Every!  Single!  Day!

I smarted up and started looking for a chore chart.  The ones I were finding were way too big for her.  So I went back to scratch and made my own.  It is awesome!

We do not have morning battles anymore!  She actually asks now to get dressed!!  Who knew!  I need one less cup coffee each day!  ; )

Her chores:  Get dressed.  Get her hair combed.  Brush her teeth.  Listen Good.  Say her bible [Cubbie] verse.  Read by herself. 

I also got her hair cut which has helped with the hair issues!  I love her hair long because then we can do braids and pony tails – however she can’t stand that stuff.  Would rather have her hair down with nothing in it.  Keeping it short keeps the snarls at bay.

For each check mark she gets a button to put in her jar.  Then I thought up some things she could “buy” with her buttons.  Things that are very special to her right now.

Why buttons?  Because I had a mega supply of them from last years Christmas craft projects.

She has been working towards… Ellyn of course!  She wouldn’t cash in any buttons because she wanted a sleep over with Ellyn!  However, the other night she wanted to stay up late so bad… and she finally caved and cashed in 10 buttons to stay up and play games and eat Halloween candy.  : )

I just printed these off on a sheet paper and stuck them in two picture frames I had – I think I got them for a dollar at Kmart when Mallory was a baby.  Then I bought a dry ease marker and she checks it off on the glass and we can wipe it off and do it again the next day.  This way too when she gets bigger I can change out the chores and rewards.  Since my kitchen/dining room area is kind of smaller – I hung them in her room by her bed with a shelf above to hold the buttons and jar… high enough out of her reach that she can’t be giving herself buttons!  : )

Chore charts are awesome!  Mallory still gets excited about it!  Try one!

Music Constantly!

I know!  When did Maxwell turn into a little boy?  I think he did it over night!  : )  He seems to have just grown up lately!  He is talking up a storm!  He has even gone on the potty I think 4 times now since last week!!  Before we know it he will be riding dirt bikes around the yard!

Little Miss!  She is also growing rapidly too!  She no longer likes taking her picture either.

Max and I needed to play the piano for Mallory while she danced and sang. 

Then Max and I turned it to DJ Mode and she kicked us off and we had to sing and she got to play the piano.  She is very fussy about her music.

Maxwell listening to his big sister and singing on the [jump rope] microphone.

Every day at our house there is music playing!  Either Mallory is playing on the piano or she has the karaoke machine playing or she is requesting music on the TV (Pandora Radio).  Almost every morning the karaoke machine is going before 9am!  And almost every night after supper she plays the karaoke machine while we are cleaning up the kitchen.  Music!  Music!  Music!