I am sitting here tonight… it is after 9pm… I have so many thoughts running around in my head and I have no idea what to do. None. So I turn to my trusty blog that I have thrown into the wind. I think about my blog often. That is as far as it gets. Who knew adding one more person would create an entire different atmosphere!? It did! It very much did!
Melanie Mae turns ONE on Friday! One I say! How the freak did that happen? No clue! She was the sweetest baby girl. Now, she crawls, pulls to standing, yells, and destroys everything in her path! She screams. Arches her back when she doesn’t want to be put into her highchair for supper. Grabs onto my head and screams when she doesn’t want to swing on the swingset. Bites my hand when she wants me to hold her. Who is this child?!?! I swear if she didn’t look exactly like us I would think she was switched at birth. Hopefully I can come back and give some Melanie statistics in the next few days. Because she is quite the child and she needs to be remembered!
So last week Mallory wrote her name, in marker, on the inside of my van. And the ‘o’ was a heart! Seriously! She is 6 now! Does that mean she starts turning o’s into hearts?! I am not ready for this!
My van is not even a year old!! Jesse told me when I got this van that it had to last me until the kids were gone! And now Mallory wrote her name on it!
I may have been battling a case of Hangry (Hunger/Anger) because I was livid! I was so not impressed!
Mallory why did you write your name on the van?
M: I couldn’t remember where I sit. (Straight face)
Mallory Rae! You couldn’t remember where you needed to sit?
M: Yeah. Sometimes I get in and get confused and now I know I need to sit by my name. (Straight face)
Mallory Rae! You have a pink carseat! Max’s is black!
M: Yeah but I have black on my carseat too.
Mallory Rae! Do you want me to help you remember where you need to sit?
M: Yeah.
OKAY!
So I decide that her punishment is going to be… she has to clean out the entire van. Take everything out. Vacuum. Scrub floor mats. She has to be done by 2:30 to go to the book mobile or she can’t go.
She gets started hauling out all the tiny treasures she puts in there. This girl and finding treasures! Drives me absolutely crazy!
She brought me a gigantic watermelon the other day! A whole watermelon that she found in the field behind our house. A treasure! Lets take it to mom! So she wobbles this water melon into the house “LOOK MOM!” I find out it was in the field and I start to think… well this is Wisconsin we are not known for wild watermelon… so someone must of threw it out and why? Mallory is insistent that I cut into it and feed it to her! I don’t. And I’ll be darned if that watermelon didn’t sit on my counter for a week before I had Jesse haul it away to our compost. Well the kids found it AGAIN and this time they took a shovel and chopped it into pieces and the dog climbed into the compost and ate it.
Back to Mallory writing her name on my van. She worked on cleaning out the treasures and I worked on lunch.
We all ate lunch. Mallory went out to start vacuuming. I come in and I start to email Jesse what she did and she opens the door and yells “I am done!” Now it was seriously 3 minutes. No way can you vacuum a mini van in 3 minutes!
So I get her set back up to vacuum and three more times she yelled she was done and then Melanie had a diaper blow out and I am now cleaning her up and Mallory has yelled “I am done” for the 16th time. To which my summer kid says “It probably would have been faster if you would of just did it.” And to him I clench my jaw and say, “but it wouldn’t of taught her a lesson!”
Speaking of clenching my jaw… I now have stress fractures all over my teeth from clenching my teeth/jaw! I tell you what this last year was rough on me!!!
Anyway, she got the van all cleaned out. Floor vacuumed. Mats scrubbed. And it sparkles again. Oh and she got her name off with a wipe! So it must not have been permanent marker! Lucky her!
And she will not write her name on the van anymore.
My second Mallory story… she has no idea I know this story… so some day this will be a surprise to her!
My girlfriend, Trish, had to watch my kids for me. The kids were thirsty so Trish got out the milk jug and was getting them some milk. She handed the jug of milk to Mallory and she took the jug and DRANK RIGHT FROM THE JUG!!!!!!
Trish didn’t tell me this until a week after and we are at her house for a cook out and we had a few drinks. Trish laughed her butt off. I was so embarrassed.
Trish said, we blamed it on Jesse. She must of learned it from Jesse. I told her no one drinks out of the jug! No no no no! I can’t believe she did that! Stinker!
Then get this! Mallory told her “I thought it was a glass!”
My jaw is clenching as I type this I need to go relax…
