What can happen when your neighbor's heater quits working.

Posted By Jesse:
Sunday evening I saw my friend and neighbor, Ryan, walking by our apartment. He told me that he was over by Liz, another one of our neighbor friends, trying to fix her heater. He was unsuccessful in fixing the heater, so I decided that I'd offer one of my electric space heaters to her since it would get pretty cold in her apartment by the time morning came.

As I walked down the steps toward Liz's apartment I noticed a man in the shadows of the garages, it was about 9:30 PM and it was raining in a typical Portland fashion. I immediately recognize the tall slender gentleman as another one of my neighbors that I knew through my casual conversations with him. I proceeded to Liz's back porch, to find her smoking a cigarette and chatting on the phone as she often does. I briefly interrupted her conversation to ask if she needed a heater only to have our conversation interrupted by the man I had just noticed in the shadows. He yelled to ask if I'd come over by him. I asked him to wait a moment and finished my conversation with Liz. Within seconds I walked over to him. I could tell something wasn't right, but only because I don't typically see this guy outside of his home walking around, especially on such a dreary Sunday evening. As I walked up to him, I asked him what he was up to and then I noticed a large fillet knife in his left hand. His response was, "Do you know that girl (Liz)?" I said, "Yeah, she's my friend." He replied, "Tell her to get of the phone." Why he said that still doesn't make any sense to me. He seemed very upset, his eyes were wide open, his posture was very guarded, he smelled of alcohol, and he didn't seem to be playing with a full deck of cards. Everything about him was rather eerie. With great concern and fear I asked what he was doing with the knife. He told me he was going to kill himself. I'm not ashamed to say I was very scared. Not only scared for him, but also feeling a bit scared for myself, like I said, I'm not sure he was in his right mind. I'm also not ashamed to say that between every word I muttered, I was praying to God. In the moments before I prayed, I felt completely overwhelmed and helpless. I realized that no one could help me; not my father, not my wife, nor any of my friends. It was just me and this man with a knife standing in the rain. All I had was my own knowledge and a God that has always been there for me in the past. My prayer was brief, I simply asked for wisdom and the ability to protect myself if I needed to.

I asked him what was happening in his life that he wanted to die. Two days earlier I had talked with him and he told me about some major health complications he'd been having. He also has little money, it's the holidays, and he'd just had a fight with his wife. All of those were reasons he wanted walk down to park, slit his wrist, and leave the pain of this world behind him. I knew that he and his wife just had their first son about 5 months ago; I also knew that he grew up not knowing his own father. I asked him if he thought it would be fair to his son to also grow up without a father. He didn't answer me; instead he looked around and appeared to be confused. At this point we have been talking for about two minutes, and a group of three people just walked past. I can't help but wonder what they were thinking; seeing two guys standing in the rain, one of them holding a 10 inch fillet knife. He never responded to my question about his son, we just sat there for a while in silence. I asked him if he'd give me the knife, he refused. Now there is a car coming down the way, he takes a step back and rests his back on the garage door. We weren't blocking the roadway, but I though he'd stepped back to make more room for the oncoming car. Turns out he wasn't. Since he'd stepped back, I decided that I'd also step toward the garage. He instantly said that I'd better not come any closer. I then realized that I wasn't his ally, but just another threat to him. He talked some more and in a typical psychologist fashion I just listened, knowing that's what he probably wanted most of all. His situation was heart breaking, it didn't seem fair, I couldn't help but think I could have been in the same place had I experienced the same life.

Our conversation went on for about 5 minutes, perhaps longer. Then I noticed three cars coming down the way, they were moving exceptionally fast, but then again a lot of people drive really fast through this area. But these cars weren't just some reckless kids; it turned out to be three squad cars coming without their lights or sirens on. It happened so quickly. The three squads came to a screeching stop and they were out of their cars so fast. Within seconds this man and I were looking down the barrels of two pistols and a shotgun. I still clearly remember the sound of the officer cocking his shotgun. They yelled for us to get our hands in the air. My hands, as they often are, were in my pockets. It seemed like slow motion as I pulled my hands out, thinking that I should be careful to not make any sudden movements. I'm glad he was still holding the knife and that he refused to give it to me, or the situation could have been very different. I can just imagine my stuttering words as I try to explain that I'm not the guy they're after, even though I'm holding the knife. The officers quickly spotted the knife in his hand and told me get out of there. I stepped away as the officers closed in, repeatedly asking him to drop the knife. He was slow to comply and that's when I remember the part of our conversation when he mentioned suicide-by-cop. Thank God, he was willing to drop the knife. However, he was even less willing to drop the cigarette he had been smoking. All said and done, the officers handcuffed him and took him to Saint Vincent's Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation.

I told this story to my friends Ben and Brandon. Ben asked where the cops were from. The one I spoke to was from the Beaverton PD. Ben made a great point. The cops in this area received a similar call about a man with a knife about a month ago; however, that situation ended with the armed man shot to death. As Ben pointed out, "I'm sure that whole situation is still fresh in their minds." Unfortunately Ben witnessed part of that shooting as it went down at his apartment complex just down the road from here. You can actually read Ben's account of that night by clicking on Ben & Katie's blog located on the right side of our home page.

Police shootings are pretty common in this area, but I don't blame them for it. However, it's really a different experience when you are the one at the end of the barrel. You really start to hope that all the police shootings are not the result of some trigger happy cops.

If this man's story has touched you and you believe in God, please say one prayer for him. He has multiple health concerns, psychological issues, a wife and three children, and little money. In the past he's been a very laid back and fairly happy individual. The stress and pain of this world is breaking him. He needs a lot of things and one of those things is prayer.