I am cleaning up the kitchen this afternoon and I can hear the big kids downstairs playing. I sent them down to finish up their lego building that they were doing.
During lunch Max had asked me to come help him finish building his lego tractor. So I go down after my kitchen is cleaned up. I sit down on their floor and I start looking at the pile of tiny legos all over their floor. I am trying to not complain or say anything about “what if Melanie comes down here and eats all your legos…” and just work on this lego tractor.
Mallory starts telling me a story – but I am not fully listening I am thinking about where Max left off in the lego book and how many legos I am going to suck up in my vacuum cleaner and how many I am going to find in Melanie’s diaper.
“… it had letters on it but we couldn’t figure out what the letters spelled… we thought it was a tums… we ate it…we don’t know what it was…”
What? You ate what? Where? What did you find?
Here is the story…
Max found a tiny pill on the floor in Maggie’s room and they were “using their senses” to figure out what it was. They didn’t know so they thought they should taste it and eat it.
Was there any left you ask? No. They crumbled it and devoured the entire thing.
Now. Maggie (our dog) has a bladder problem. Only our dog. I swear I never heard of any other dog having this problem. Just our crazy dog. She leaks. Can’t hold it. It just leaks right out of her. Where ever she is – sitting or lying down. Lovely, eh? No!! So she is on medication that helps her from doing that.
My immediate reaction is… they ate one of Maggie’s pills! Holy crap?! What will that do to them?! I go in Maggie’s room open up her pill bottle. Empty! None in there! So I can’t even ask them if it looked like that!
I call Jesse at work. Now, I never call Jesse at work – I didn’t even call him when I was going into labor with Melanie… I emailed him. I tell him the situation and he says, he wants to ask them more questions. So we do this little gig where he tells it to me, I tell the kids, they respond, I tell him. We got no where. So I hang up and he says, just monitor them. Okay.
I start walking around Maggie’s room thinking. What could they have found and ate? Max says it was green. Mallory says it was yellow. I have been in and out of here multiple times today to do the laundry…
A little back story…
Last week I went garage sailing with a friend and we spent the night in an extremely risky sketchy scary hotel. There were bullet holes in the freaking door! Not our door! But one of the doors! Our entire room smelled of stale smoke! It was gross! But we convinced ourselves most hotel shenanigans don’t happen on a Wednesday Night and we were safe. We survived the night. We made a pact that neither of us were going to shower. And we barely brushed our teeth with the water. So I stuck my “pill” in my pants pocket to take when we got coffee. Y’all know what kind of “pill” I am talking about here! A birth control pill! *blush* I wasn’t drinking the water and I left my water bottle in the truck. So in my pocket it went to take later.
I never took it! I forgot all about it! I did laundry!
I bet that birth control pill fell out of my pocket while I was sorting laundry and that is what they found!!! Ohhh!! You are kidding me!
Run upstairs grab the entire pack run downstairs and shove it in their faces. Max first. Did it look like this? Ah, yeah. Mallory next. Did it look like this? Yup.
What happens when they eat birth control?
Call Jesse back he tells me to call poison control.
Another back story…
A few weeks ago I was listening to Bob and Sheri and they had callers calling in with Mom stories for Mother’s Day. And they wanted the stories where Mom deserved whatever prize they were giving away. So one caller calls up with her Mom had to call poison control 6 times in one day. I can’t remember all the things these kids did to their Mom but one of them was they were eating her birth control! Not just one! Lots of it! I died laughing! It was a great story! (So great that I now can’t remember all of it.) And I remember thinking… Oh I am so lucky my kids would never do that!
I get poison control on the phone and I am having the hardest time not laughing as I tell her “Um, my kids shared a birth control pill… what do I do?” She put me on hold. Came back and I had to repeat myself “Um, my kids shared a birth control pill.” I lost it. I laughed out loud.
Have you seen how tiny these pills are to begin with? And my kids decided that not just one of them was going to investigate the taste of this foreign object… we both are!
10 minutes later with my super awesome poison control gal and she tells me “They could of ate 20”!!!
The kids are fine. It didn’t hurt them. Gave them a good scare about eating things they don’t know.
